This week, I’m inspired by my mini-coaching/consulting sessions as part of the Nonfiction Writers Conference. These writers are impressive. One writer sold 30,000 copies of her first book, another around 20,000! And the aspiring authors drew me in with their captivating book ideas, timely wisdom and catchy titles. I want to read these books!

One highly accomplished author asked for advice in promoting her second book. She had told me she didn’t have much of a social media following and didn’t enjoy it. She also mentioned she’d received lots of great PR the first time around, so I naturally suggested she contact the people who interviewed her then and share her new pitch and tell them about the forthcoming book.

“So many of those people don’t have integrity. They lie to their listeners. I just don’t feel good about supporting what they do.”

I totally understood where she was coming from. Boundaries can be healthy. And important. And we don’t want to be associated with liars!

So, it surprised me to hear what came out of my mouth next:

The Surprising Words that Came Out of My Mouth

“Don’t write people off too easily. They might be the people who most need your message.”

It’s important to note any red flags. I’m down for that.

Don’t ignore them.

And don’t support hate or violence.

But I couldn’t help but wonder, might those people she’d been writing off be on the verge of change? Might her message or her mere presence spark something new in them?

Certainly, her appearance could help her reach more people with her message and get her book featured on these shows. And maybe those people most needed what she had to offer. It seemed to me worth exploring before just writing them off. Not a commitment, just an exploration.

What I suggested she do instead

I suggested this author try my “Meet Your Muse” guided visualization exercise (she mentioned she’d just bought my book last week and loved it—especially chapter 3, the chapter with that exercise!).

“Ask your muse (your creative source, inner wisdom, call it what you will) whether it’s in the highest good of all for you to appear on their show.” Or come up with any questions related to that query. It’s just possible that:

a) The good that will come out of it—the people you reach and help—makes it worth doing the interviews.

b) The interviewer needs your message. They may be operating in a silo. Who knows whether your presence and integrity might shift their own views. Or open something up for healing in you or them.

Just to be clear. I am not suggesting you ignore your initial reaction. What I am suggesting is a neutral attitude to explore what’s really true for you. Is your response habitual? Is it a true warning? This takes discernment.

We’re not victims. We’re not helpless. Yet, we’re often divided.

The media, politicians, greedy corporations and those in powerful positions often manipulate us into seeing one another as “the enemy.” As long as people are divided, we are more easily controlled. One of the most empowering and rebellious actions we can take is to stand in our true self, our authenticity, our power, in a neutral way.

From that space we can see the good and bad influences in others and, more importantly, in ourselves. We can have compassion for ourselves and others.

In the space of compassion, we connect with potentiality. Potential for:

• healing
• transformation
• growth
• understanding
• tolerance
• kindness
• a better world.

Let’s not write each other off!

Look for what you have in common. Don’t let go of your values, but do discern whether the choice you face is about values or something else.

To get to that place of neutrality, so that you have the discernment necessary for optimal decision-making, you can:

• Take a few deep abdominal breaths.
• Walk in nature.
• Think of someone you love or something you are grateful for.
• Do some qigong bouncing and shaking! (Check out the video at the bottom of the post and join me in this powerful, joyful practice!

Make your choices from a place of wisdom, love and vitality (the three treasures of being human, according to Taoists and Qigong teachings).

Where did that wise idea come from?

Honestly, I was a bit surprised by my answer. Here’s my sense of where it came from.

Lately, before bed, I’m rereading two books in concert—a passage or two from the Dao De Jing (Tao Te Ching) and a few pages from my qigong master teacher Robert Peng’s beautiful book, The Way of Virtue, followed by one of the meditations in the latter book.

I have a feeling that the ability to see beyond a habitual judgment came from the inner space created by meditating and reading these inspiring works.

And that brings us back to the power of our books—the incredible impact books can have in our lives:

Before you write people off—or say “no” to an opportunity that scares you, remember the importance of your work and take a step back to truly discern whether your response is coming from your authentic knowing or from fear and conditioning.

Then choose with wisdom!

Ready to try Qigong bouncing and shaking? Here goes:

As my teacher Robert Peng says, “Good Qi!”